Sleep problems. We all have them at some point.
I used to be the soundest sleeper ever! I gained this skill during high school summer camps when the options were to be kept awake every night by cabinmates or just learn how to sleep through anything. I trained myself to somehow fall asleep in any circumstance, regardless of whether the lights were on or if there was noise happening around me. It was awesome.
Then I had my first major life crisis and it all fell apart!
My college shut down, actually a month before COVID even happened. Then COVID hit, and life was so uncertain and I was under so much stress I lost the ability to sleep soundly. Every 2-3 nights for the next two years I would lose at least an hour or two of sleep each night, if not more. I remember feeling so frustrated, and so tired, but it became so routine I would recognize the feeling of my brain being too “wired” to sleep and think- ug, here we go again.
I would accept my fate and promptly stare at the ceiling or the back of my eyelids until sleep found me.
Throughout the years I learned then that no matter how hard you try you can’t make yourself fall asleep, you can only create the ideal environment for it.
Below are my go-to tips for creating an ideal environment for sleep, both internal and external. You might be surprised by a few of them!
Brain Won’t Stop? Try Wearing an Eye Mask!
I know, an eye mask might not be the first thing you reach for- you’d probably prefer a melatonin. But trust me, it makes more of a difference most nights than any over the counter solution. In fact, it works so reliably that it’s my first line of defense when it comes to insomnia.
There are so many nights where I lay awake for an hour or two, and my brain just feels more and more strung out, and I assume I must be too stressed to sleep and I think it would be so much easier if my brain just had a gosh darn “off” button- but then I remember: just put on an eye mask and see what happens.
Blocking out even the tiniest bit of light not only helps me go to sleep much faster- it also helps me to stay asleep and wake up feeling much more rested. Even after I’ve been awake for hours, putting on an eye mask usually does the trick to knock me right out.
It might be helpful to block out any sources of light in your room as well. I’ve heard that the pituitary gland- located in the forehead- can sense light even if our eyes can’t. I really don’t know if this is true but it’s interesting to consider.
Loud Noises, Neighbors or Roommates Keeping You Awake? Try Earplugs!
Okay I know, another seemingly obvious answer… but this is my tried and true second line of defense against sleepless nights.
Sometimes it’s a small buzzing or a subtle ticking keeping us awake; or sometimes it’s a snoring partner, noisy roommates or our terrible neighbors. We can’t always control our external environment, but there are ways we can preserve our peace.
Earplugs are one of those things I just wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self, “PLEASE just try this. It will make your life soooooo much better.” I’ve always been sensitive to noises, so there were a lot of sleepless nights at sleepovers, camps or in roommate situations where the window had to be open or a fan had to be going. I wish I’d known then that just wearing earplugs could have solved 99% of my problems.
If an eye mask alone doesn’t work I put in some wax earplugs and soon I’m drifting off to sleep. I usually wear the earplugs with an eye mask to really seal off the outside world. Some other tools to have in your back pocket are a white noise machine, or listen to music as you fall asleep. Or, listen to music or white noise with some noise canceling earbuds- works every time.
Again, Your Brain Won’t Turn Off? Try Adjusting the Heat!
When it seems like your brain just won’t turn off, but you know you’re tired, and the eye mask and earplugs don’t work, then you may be too hot or too cold. Sometimes adjusting the temperature is just what you need to drift off into sleep.
If you’re too hot then turn the A/C on, or a fan, crack open a window, or take a few blanket layers off. You could at least start by taking your socks off. There are even cooling pillows or mattress toppers out there. If you’re too cold then turn the heat up, bundle up with some blankets, use a heated blanket or put on more clothes (my least favorite- I don’t like to feel like I’m camping when I’m in my bed, but cold feet aren’t worth it).
What if Your Problem is Nightmares? Find the Source of Your Stress While You’re Awake.
This is one I’ve reeeeeally struggled with. I rarely had nightmares as a kid, but as an adult I’ve had recurring nightmares. When I say ‘recurring’ I don’t mean having the same dream night after night, but I mean having nightmares consistently every night for days, weeks or even months.
No one likes being scared, and sure a nightmare every once in a while sucks. But when you have nightmares every night for weeks on end, you get to a point where you’re exhausted, disturbed and you just don’t even want to close your eyes anymore.
Unfortunately, nightmares are seldom something you can cure the moment. Instead, you might need to find the root cause of your nightmares- are you stressed? Are you watching TV too close to bedtime? Did you eat some really weird food right before bed? Are you not sleeping soundly in general?
Then journal, talk to a friend, deal with any issues that are causing you stress, and if you still can’t figure it out it might help to talk to a counselor. In the meantime, after a bad nightmare just try to take your mind off of it however you need to- wake your partner up to tell them about it, journal about it, or reach for your phone and scroll through old photos, watch Tik Toks or watch a show to make yourself feel better.
Are You Really Struggling with No Sleep? It May be Time to Consider Over the Counters.
It may be time to consider a supplement until you figure out the root cause of your sleep issues. Less sleep leads to more stress, and more stress leads to less sleep- let’s not let the cycle repeat itself. Try magnesium lotion before bed, or my go-to, a CBD sleep blend. For me the only one that works- and it works really well- is Garden of Life’s CBD+ Sleep Blend with lemon balm, chamomile and Vitamin D3.
I say magnesium lotion because it’s tolerated well by most people, whereas the pill version can make some people have digestive issues, especially in high dosages. And I prefer CBD to melatonin because I tried melatonin a couple times and I woke up after four hours literally wide awake which sucked. The second time I just felt more tired but I still couldn’t sleep which really stressed me out. I’ve heard that it’s not great to be dependent upon melatonin either because your body stops producing its own, but you’ll have to do your own research on that one.
BONUS TIP: Get out of Bed if it’s Been Longer than 20 Minutes- Trust Me!
I have one more thing that really helps me. Getting out of bed if it’s been longer than 20 minutes and doing some somatic dancing gets my mind off things, helps me drop back into my body and lifts my spirits.
Somatic dancing is not yoga and it’s not actual dancing- I’ve found both things to be too stimulating and structured when I want to be sleeping. Somatic dancing is slow, gentle movement that has no structure at all- you just turn on some chill music and let your body move however it wants to. Easier than you might think, don’t overthink it! Just allow one body part to move, and soon your whole body follows suit. It looks weird so make sure you’re by yourself, but luckily if you’re up in the middle of the night you probably already are.
Other General Tips
Sleep Hygiene is important. It includes what I’ve covered in this post already, but also more obvious things like showering or taking a bath before bed, brushing your teeth, staying away from screens or thought provoking TV shows before bed, not eating big meals or getting super hungry right before bed, and having a clean and comfortable sleep environment (pillows, mattress and materials matter). Staying away from caffeine, alcohol, cannabis and other substances is also helpful as these things dysregulate your nervous system further.
Also, avoid taking naps longer than 20 minutes during the day. Better yet, meditating for 20 minutes a day instead is super helpful to reduce stress and help regain control of your mind. General stress reduction techniques work well too, like Reiki, Yoga, daily walks outside, journaling, gratitude, pain management, and spending time with friends. Sunlight during the day is also very important, as is spending time outside and going to sleep and waking up at the same time every day, even on weekends.
I could probably write an entire blog post on each one of the methods I mentioned in this post, but this is a summary of my top 5 go-to tried-and-true methods I use every time I have a hard time sleeping. I hope you found it helpful!
What are your tried-and-true methods for better sleep? Let me know in the comments!